[Self-Growth] The Misguided Pursuit of Happiness x 3 Ways to Become a Happier Person
We all go on and can never stop, because our brains are designed to forage.
Our ancestors have to keep finding in order to survive. When we find something, the brain chemical dopamine is released to tigger pleasure. Dopamine's effect however, does not last, it gets metabolized quickly and the momentary thrill soon passes. Throughout human history, the joy dopamine delivers has effectively ensured our survival.
In today's context, we still long for the joy of dopamine and we seek out other ways such as career advancements, gaming, shopping, traveling etc. Alas, contentment is almost an impossible state of mind. Read: greed.
We are programmed to feel excited at new things and we pursue it for the good feelings. The above study shows that the brain no longer wants to waste dopamine for the same old thing and saves it for new information about new rewards.
Psychology Today: Researchers trained a group of monkeys to do a small task in exchange for a spinach leaf. Then the experimenters rewarded the monkeys with juices instead of spinach.
Then something curious happened. The monkeys’ dopamine fell over time. They continued getting the juice reward for the task each day, but their brains stop reacting to it.
This experiment has an interesting twist, the experimenters stopped the juice and switched back to spinach. The monkeys responded to the spinach with fits of rage. They had come to expect the juice. They were clearly unhappy when they didn’t get it, but it didn’t make them happy when they had it.
Life is a complicated one, things fail to make us happy after some time, but we still fly into rage when we lose them. Positive events will boost our happiness, but it's a matter of time that we will still swing back to our natural set point.
The definition of happiness can come from many different perspectives, but we are all well-acquainted with the benefits that comes with it. From higher earnings and better health and more success.
True happiness lasts longer than a squirt of dopamine, and it is more than emotion. Our happiness is affected by many things about us such as the height of our nose bridge (#asianconcerns), the quality of our relationships; cognitive reflections. Whereas our feelings just constitutes no more than a teeny bit of it. So as to say, this state of mind both intentional and strategic, and is definitely within our control.
What can I do to be happy?
1. Cut some Slack for the good of yourself and the people around you.
We've all seen those happy-go-lucky people who seem to be unaware of the ills of their surroundings and sail through life blissfully. Recall those "YOLO" peeps and friends who continue reciting how redundant GPAs are? I'm not saying that we should all be bo chap about our responsibilities but this constant striving for perfection can get exhausting and crippling. Sacrificing some degree of achievement may be a small price to pay for being able to skip sweating on the small stuff.
Do you recall yourself catching the minute changes in the facial expressions of others - such as the rolling of eyes, the flash of irritance etc when we are feeling a little more down? Whereas when we are in a good mood, we usually brush off such tiny sleights.
2. Be Happy for Others (genuinely)
True friends are always there for one another.
A good friend is one that lends a hand when you're in need.
These sayings are popular, so this idea is less intuitive: being happy for others and having others celebrating your success. It is precious and scarce when people truly seek joy in others' gains without jealousy or envy.
A study by psychologist Shelly Gable revealed that romantic couples were more likely to be satisfied and committed to their relationship when they celebrate each other's achievements, and thus enjoying greater love and happiness.
The process of sharing a positive experience with someone engraves the memory in the brain such that it will be easier to recall. The memory is also changed, and remembered as being as even more positive than it was. Moreover, the listener is lifted by the friend's positivity, just like how we gift or donate. A win-win situation, why aren't we doing it more?
3. Find Your Purpose in Life
A life devoid of happiness is a not fun, momentary indulges in a hot chocolate, a hot water bath or vegging out in front of Youtube can recharge ourselves. But remember of that ultimate goal of what we aspire to be in life? The struggle between short-term pleasures and purpose is always ongoing; what makes us feel good and what we care about.
According to neuroscientist Richard Davidson (University of Wisconsin), advancing toward the achievement of our goals not only engages us, it also helps us to withstand the negative feelings that arise during the process. A classic example which most of us can relate to, losing weight.
It is easy to get confused by the blurred lines of what we enjoy and what we should do (pleasure and purpose respectively), and it is also important not to lie to yourself. The art of living a happier life is to integrate satisfaction with purposes, while slotting in some time for recharging so we can ultimately move closer toward our goals.
However things take a different tack when we pursue happiness, then it might turn out to be "superficial", "hedonistic" or "fleeting". Being happy and craving happiness are of opposite spectrums. And a well-lived life is undeniably more important than a "high" one.
We've all seen those happy-go-lucky people who seem to be unaware of the ills of their surroundings and sail through life blissfully. Recall those "YOLO" peeps and friends who continue reciting how redundant GPAs are? I'm not saying that we should all be bo chap about our responsibilities but this constant striving for perfection can get exhausting and crippling. Sacrificing some degree of achievement may be a small price to pay for being able to skip sweating on the small stuff.
Do you recall yourself catching the minute changes in the facial expressions of others - such as the rolling of eyes, the flash of irritance etc when we are feeling a little more down? Whereas when we are in a good mood, we usually brush off such tiny sleights.
2. Be Happy for Others (genuinely)
True friends are always there for one another.
A good friend is one that lends a hand when you're in need.
These sayings are popular, so this idea is less intuitive: being happy for others and having others celebrating your success. It is precious and scarce when people truly seek joy in others' gains without jealousy or envy.
A study by psychologist Shelly Gable revealed that romantic couples were more likely to be satisfied and committed to their relationship when they celebrate each other's achievements, and thus enjoying greater love and happiness.
The process of sharing a positive experience with someone engraves the memory in the brain such that it will be easier to recall. The memory is also changed, and remembered as being as even more positive than it was. Moreover, the listener is lifted by the friend's positivity, just like how we gift or donate. A win-win situation, why aren't we doing it more?
3. Find Your Purpose in Life
A life devoid of happiness is a not fun, momentary indulges in a hot chocolate, a hot water bath or vegging out in front of Youtube can recharge ourselves. But remember of that ultimate goal of what we aspire to be in life? The struggle between short-term pleasures and purpose is always ongoing; what makes us feel good and what we care about.
According to neuroscientist Richard Davidson (University of Wisconsin), advancing toward the achievement of our goals not only engages us, it also helps us to withstand the negative feelings that arise during the process. A classic example which most of us can relate to, losing weight.
It is easy to get confused by the blurred lines of what we enjoy and what we should do (pleasure and purpose respectively), and it is also important not to lie to yourself. The art of living a happier life is to integrate satisfaction with purposes, while slotting in some time for recharging so we can ultimately move closer toward our goals.
However things take a different tack when we pursue happiness, then it might turn out to be "superficial", "hedonistic" or "fleeting". Being happy and craving happiness are of opposite spectrums. And a well-lived life is undeniably more important than a "high" one.
0 comments: