[Brain Rants] On The Compulsion To be Alone

Sometimes I marvel at the success of changes that I try to impose on myself. It has changed my life forever. Like the other time when I went on a phone fast. Ah hah, I don't even realize it sometimes when I do leave my phone at home. On my bestest defense, I was still quite a socialite. I LOVE people, what do you mean?




The more you want to be left alone, the more people left you alone. The more people left you alone, you want to be alone. I fidget in new environments; my eyes stray from your face, your direction and so does my soul. At other times, I ask questions that are more direct, and erm, may pass off as straight down b!tchy. People, I used to love them, but then now I don't. I think I might have an overdose of being alone. All the socializing seem to be squeezing my head so hard.

This has triggered weird symptoms, I like being enveloped within all the crowd, and feel extremely at ease knowing that there will be no one to talk to me. You've all heard of the "extro/introvert" dichotomy, then there is the both; which really, is what most people are. Rarely do anyone fall into the extreme spectrums of stuff. Not that I dig into the comfort of thinking that I'm normal but isn't that what most people are? I'm so sorry to break the news that you're no longer that different. (Still special though, I'm certain.)

I was lucky that I was not socially-excluded by the all-nice-people around me that I've met. And I'm really, especially grateful for that. Thank you, for letting me know that I'm not ostracized and avoided. I do love y'all, but sometimes, I also like the idea of indulging in my boring thoughts.

You might want to read:

18 Struggles Of Having An Outgoing Personality But Actually Being Shy And Introverted - Brianna Wiest